Caffeinate, Create, Sleep, Repeat.

003 – Banter Under the Influence

Feeling the cold air brush against my face as I open the door of the pub. I can almost feel the dirt of daily life being washed away. As if rain is falling freely over me and and I am being washed from all the dirt, anxieties, and concern. I hear the band playing my favorite song, like I was destined to be here.

The whole video plays on my mind as I make my way through the sea of people trying to make most of night. There are guys here out on the prowl, looking for their next prey. Some are just merely here for the music, others for the high that the brew brings. As for me, I just wanna get plastered tonight.

“Damien” Joe signals me from the bar across the room. “We’ve been waiting for you, where have you been man?”.


“Jess is also here, I dunno why it’s so hard to ask her out. But when I said that you’d be here she decided to drop by. Maybe she’s turning soft when it comes to you, hahahahaha”.

I manage to break a smile on my face as he said that, but come to think of it… Jessica always seemed to be the boy-boy kind of girl in the office. I mean at one point we even thought, and I think I still do, that she’s a lesbian. Maybe if she found that out she’d beat the crap out of me and Joe.

“What the f*ck is wrong with you man! Are you telling me that Damien is good-looking enough to make me swoon? F*ucking hell…” Jessica tells Joe in the most eloquent way.

“So what are you drinking? You still have to catch up to us you know.” Jessica asks me.

“Uhhmn… well the usual.”

In a most lady-like manner, like an Amazon princess, she leans on the bar and waves her hand at the bartender screaming “Dude, a pint of Budweiser for this bloke!”. Looking at her yield like that makes me realize that she actually has a nice figure. A very athletic body if I may say. Long slender lines with the right curves at the right place. Long legs like that of bikini models, a perfect runway leading up to…

“Why are you looking at me like that? I’m sure you’re so engrossed in my body, right?” she notices my observant stare.

I turn red and the only thing I could muster to say is “I didn’t mean to. I apologize.”

“Hahahaha. You’re such a push-over man. I’m just messing with you. Here’s your beer.”

“Oh don’t be so mean to him Jess. He just got his first whipping from the slave driver.” Joe says in a very mocking way.

“Hahahaha. Don’t worry man. We all get that kind of sh*t from him. Would you like a hug or kiss from me to make you feel better?” tempts Jessica.

Tempting. Really tempting…

“Heh, you’re messing with me again aren’t you?”

She smiles with her naughty lips, winks, and we all broke into laughter.

“Hey Damien, I think that girl is checking you out. Dude, she’s so into you. Go ahead and buy her a drink.” Joe points out at the other end of the bar where there is this group of female yuppies.

“Yeah, I think she actually looks cute.” and I raise my glass to her to acknowledge their undressing stare.

Surprisingly Jessica has an interesting take on them; “But don’t you just hate the way they just giggled and started to whisper to each other when Damien just did that? My God, they are so slutty. Like convent girls gone wild. It’s like they are raping you with their stares already. Oh man, don’t tell me that you’d actually fall for something this cheap.”

“I guess you’re right. This is so easy. I didn’t actually come here to get laid. I came here to spend time with two of the most interesting people in SYSACOM, also known as Sanction-Your-Sorry-Ass COMpany, and she’s not actually my type. If only Jess would dress-up more lady-like and probably wear some make-up I’d rather be freaky with her than with them.”

Joe laughs his ass off in the most cartoon-like way that I have ever seen. We could even see a spoonful of beer oozing out of his nose “Hahahahahaha, you f*cker! I nearly drowned. That is the most funniest comment I heard from you ever!”

I anticipate Jessica’s reply. Before I actually said that I was already expecting a gangster-like trash-talking from her. But apparently she magically had a loss for words after hearing what I said, and she could only give the most endearing smile that only a princess could do. Maybe she was flattered, maybe she likes me. Surely she’ll deny it, but her blushing face could only mean otherwise.

“Cheers, for a great night with you guys.” I say to them.


Rockstar for hire.
I help businesses create memorable branding experiences for their customers.

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